Unqualified

Kevin’s note: How weird is it that the first post in a new blog is from a guest blogger.  But I think “unconventional” is going to be what the life of this site is all about.  Let’s not play by the rules.  Let’s just enjoy the ride!  

Trish is a amazing kid’s pastor friend from Common Ground Vineyard in Fort Pierce, Fl.  

I haven’t been a Children’s Pastor very long. Going on two years at the end of this month, actually. I’m still taking classes, but I’ve barely scratched the surface. I remember back to the first time I participated in a baptism. For days afterward I would break into random outbursts of tears. I was completely overwhelmed with how inadequate I felt. How can I be any part of this, I’m just… me? Just recently, a fellow Pastor friend and I were talking about how unqualified we felt. This feeling had caused both of us to respond in a very similar way: we didn’t call ourselves “Pastor”.

A new kid shows up in Kid’s Church, “Hi, I’m Ms. Trish!”

Meet a new church member, “Nice to meet you, I’m Tricia.”

In two years, I could probably count on my fingers the amount of times I’ve referred to myself as “Pastor”, and I’m not even sure if I’d need both hands. Part of me wonders if that comes off as being insulting to the honor my church and Senior Pastor have put on me. I don’t mean it to be. I just simply don’t feel worthy of it. I’ve known too many awesome Pastors and I’m certainly not them. The bar is set too high, the shoes are too big.

My very wise friend pointed out that we weren’t alone feeling like this. In 2 Samuel 7 you see David’s response to God promising him an everlasting lineage of kings: “Who am I?” he asks. In Exodus 3, God calls Moses to bring the Israelites out of Egypt: “Who am I?” he questions as well. They didn’t feel qualified to their callings either. And this was where my friend’s brilliance really showed, she said, “They weren’t qualified. They were ‘call’-ified.”

Back when I was dealing with my random fits of weepiness, I was given some wise advice,

“Of course you feel inadequate, that’s the point.”

I’m never going to feel worthy of what I was called to do. I shouldn’t. No matter how much I learn, it will still never be my own understanding that I should rely on.

Maybe it’s still okay that I don’t want to use the term “Pastor” just yet. Maybe the image in my mind of the brilliant people I’ve known who have that title is blinding me a bit to what they’ve already figured out. We’re not worthy, we’re not qualified. We’re simply called, and He is with us. We’re ‘call’-ified.