I Owe Jon Acuff an Apology

Author’s note:  So I haven’t been blogging for the last few weeks.  That’s because I have officially dived into the work of writing my long-planned book.  After two years of research, an expanding outline and hundreds and hundreds of index cards, the writing of “How To Be A Hero in 3 Easy Steps” is underway!  Goal is to finish it by November.  For fun, though, I will will throw out sections here to see the reaction.  For example, the Prologue!  Here it is.  Let me know your thoughts.  And once again, Sorry Jon!  -Kevin Neville

There is a popular saying that goes like this;  “You should never meet your heroes”.  Why not, I wonder?  I’m pretty sure that many of you could tell me exactly why not.  I’m sure so many of you could spin me tales all about the long lines you stood in and the endless waits as you got closer to the front of the line to take that coveted selfie with your larger-than-life “Somebody”.  Or perhaps the story is seeing them on a cross country flight you both were on. Is that really “what’s-her-name” that you passed up there in first class?  Should you go up and talk to her?  What on earth would you say?

So why would the popularity of that maxim exist?  Why on earth SHOULDN’T you meet your heroes?

Three things happen when you undergo such a monumental adventure as coming face-to-face with that person you have admired for their near-mythological skills, passions, abilities and demeanor.  Remember, after you have experienced it, for good or bad, it can never be undone.  Here’s what happens.

#1: You see them a little more honestly.  Now, I’m not saying that a momentary greeting is going to reveal all the inner angst and prejudice of a complex individual.  However it’s definitely going to make an impact on YOU.  No longer are you just reading their well crafted words, or seeing their rehearsed persona.  What you are doing is catching a glimpse into their commonality.  And what is that moment like?

Are they in a gracious mood?

Have you caught them at their best?

Do they want to be there?

Is it a bad day?

Are they really a saint?

Maybe they are, at core, just a big fat jerk!?!

You know in your head that you just saw a glimpse into them, but sometimes a glimpse is all you need.

#2: They see YOU a little more honestly.  Suddenly, this person that you have only known through a one way street of admiration has come through the looking glass.  Suddenly, they can look through the giant movie screen and see YOU standing there, autograph book in hand and selfie stick at the ready.  What kind of impression are you about to make?

Oh, I know what you were thinking while you psyched yourself up for this little adventure.  You were going to be so charming and demure.  You were going to instantly convey a transparent, magnetic charm that will turn the tables.  It will all come together in a blast of kismet.

“Hey, fancy meeting you here at this restaurant!  Look, I see that you’re busy stuffing your face and having an intimate conversation here, but really, it would be so cool of you if I could just take one picture.  Do you mind?  What?  You want me to have a seat and join you?  No, no, I couldn’t interrupt…  oh, yes, I DO agree.  I ALSO think that we should be best friends.  See, I just knew when we met we would just have an instant connection!   So, shall we start making arrangements for a cross-country road trip together?

Of course, you know what the reality of the situation turns into, don’t you.

“Hi, ummm… you’re that guy, right?  I totally love you in that thing.  umm… yah… hey, can I just get a … What?  No, oh, uh.. yah… I did see you eating.  I’m sorry, I just… oh, I’m so sorry.  No, I won’t bother you.. um.. can I just….  no, I understand.  I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to . What?  Ok, ok…   I’ll just go now.  Sorry again.”

Walking back to where you entered this little drama you mentally (or maybe not-just-mentally) start smacking your head over and over and over wondering how you could be so dumb, how it could have gone so wrong and who would have known that your hero could turn out to be SUCH… A…. JERK!

#3: You are forced to realize that both of you are actually just people.  Regular everyday people.   Are you ready for this revelation?  People can be just great.  People can be jerks.  People can be kind and interesting.  People can be dumb and boring.  And I’m talking about the same people.  I’m talking about the same people, sometimes at the same time.  We spend so much of our time creating these myths, or believing these myths, or propagating these myths about those we want to put up on pedestals that we have a hard time believing that the thrill or disappointment we have in them is so much of our own doing.  They were, after all, just being who they were.  And yet, shouldn’t they have tried harder to live up to the image we have made them in our minds?

The problem with heroes is that we feel they SHOULD always live up to that.  The problem with heroes is that often THEY feel they should be living up to that.  The reality of heroes is that it simply isn’t possible.  The pedestal is just too unstable.  It always falls.

And here we are, back to the original maxim… “You should never meet your heroes”.

Only, here’s the thing… we SHOULD!

For all these reasons and more, we SHOULD meet our heroes.  Better yet, we should seek to see our heroes for who they really are, determine what is honorable values in their strengths and learn to emulate those very characteristics, passions and mentalities.  Are they perfect?  Of course not.  Will they show us faults and brokenness?  I guarantee it.   Is there value in having them remain our heroes?  Well, I challenge you to find that out for yourself.  It might require us to do a few things, however.

1. We might need to know more about what we value.

2. We might need to redefine what it means to have a hero.

3. We might need to redefine what it means to BE a hero.

4. We might need to remember they, and we, are made in the image of God.

Wait a minute?  Did I just say that?  Aren’t we really just a broken, sinful people prone to error and failure?  Aren’t we fallen from grace?  Sure.  However there is something else we are.  We are made in the image of God.

What does that mean?

Let’s find out!

First, we need to redefine what a hero IS!  We have a lot of work to do.  Let’s get busy!

One story, first…

So, I have a bunch of heroes.  I’ve had all sorts of experiences meeting my heroes.  Some of them probably owe me an apology.  However, there is one of my heroes whom I owe an apology.

About a year ago I happened to spy Jon Acuff, one of my favorite writers and speakers, just hanging around outside of the Orange Conference.  So cool!  I totally like hanging out too!!!! It wasn’t a book signing, nor was it a scheduled event.  He was just talking to a few people and there was a line up of two or three people waiting their turn.  At the end of their conversation, I saw that Jon was allowing them to take a quick picture with them.

Having never met Jon before, I knew this was my chance.  Ok, I know myself.  I get nervous.  I choke and say stupid things.  And frankly, Jon is a busy guy.  There’s no need for him to have to put up with my unique brand of crazy when he must be getting ready to “bring it” during the next keynote (and yes, I just said “bring it”).  So I got in line and developed a plan.  I would simply ask to take a picture, get the person behind me in line to snap the shot and move aside.  I’ll be like a fan ninja:  In… snap… out.  Jon will never know that I had a tendency to say the most stupid things when nervous.  There would be no, “Hey Jon.  So, hows your day going? You all ready to ‘bring it’?!”.  There would be no, “Hi, Mister Acuff.  So, where do you get your ideas?”.  And there definitely would be no, “Jon!  Dude!  So, how about some coffee after the show?  Your treat!  I KNOW you can afford it!”

In…snap… out…   Fan ninja!

So I made plans with the person behind me.  Graciously they agreed to take the picture.  Good.  I love it when a plan comes together.  Oh, hey.  I’m next.  Show time!

So I walk up to Jon.  I notice the person behind me all ready to take the shot.

“Hi.  Can I get a quick picture?”  It’s all I trust myself to say.  I swivel around to get beside him.  FINALLY someone my size.  This picture will be epic.  SOOO going all over Instagram! I’m all ready to go.

But wait… something’s wrong.

Jon’s not looking at the camera.   Instead he’s looking at me.  And his hand is out!  What the heck is going on?

“Hi.  I’m Jon”

Is he SERIOUS? My brain is clouded with a sudden cold front of foggy confusion.   This is not in the script.  This is not what a fan ninja should encounter.  The plan was so simple… In…snap…out.

Is Jon Acuff really introducing himself to me???

Of COURSE he’s Jon Acuff.  Does he not know that of COURSE I know that!!??!!  I’ve only read everything I could get my hands on that he’s ever written.  What’s happening here?

Oh that’s right.  I forgot.  Jon Acuff is actually a REAL person.  And as it turns out, a real NICE person.

Do you know that part of you that always wants to do the wrong thing at the perfect time?  The part that simply just wants to watch the world burn because, you know… fire = cool?  Well, that seemed to be the only part of my consciousness with an option at that moment.

“Hey Kevin, just totally turn to him and say, ‘Shush now.  I’m trying to get a picture with my hero.  Do you mind?’ “

Fortunately, that is not what I did.  I believe I nervously shook his hand and said, “Hi Jon.  I’m Kevin.”  I’m pretty sure my voice cracked like I was 12.  It would have been ridiculous to think it didn’t.  Perhaps I added, “So where do you get all your ideas”  I don’t remember.  The rest was a blur of embarrassment and wonder.

Still, I’ve got the pic and he seems to be smiling, so who really knows.

So, to Jon, I want to apologize.  I want to apologize, not simply because I’m sure I said something stupid and clearly too nervous.  Also, not because I wasn’t the calm, skilled, suave fan ninja I planned on being.  No, all of that should have been properly predicted.   What I want to apologize is for the fact that I I forgot that you are a real person and you did a very gracious thing in a very gracious way reminding me of that fact.   Turns out you’re a nice guy after all.  Who would have thunk it?

So, I apologize.  Deeply sorry.  All my fault.

And, you know what?  I’m glad I met you!

Thanks, Jon!